Saturday, June 26, 2010

June......One Birthday, One Deathiversary & Another Death Of Another Kind

Writing this in blue, because that is how I feel and have felt, for days now.
My sweet Angel was born in June. She was the epitome of the name as well. Blonde, blue eyes, the sweetest cherry lips. She was an angel. She was the sweetest baby, she was so funny, but she grew to be one of my best friends. So many people thought we were twins and to that fact, I am highly appreciative. In fact after she passed, I was almost uncomfortable to be around our family because so many people would say, "You look just like her." It would be a shock and awe factor for quite a while. Even for myself, to such an extent, that I cut and colored my hair differently. Oh, how I loved her. But, as much as I loved Angel, I could imagine the pain that Lavena was facing, her sister. The pain that you know when you have lost a sibling, your best friend, your other half, your life blood. Oh, how my heart still aches for you dear friend. Your beautiful baby, born in June, the replica of you Angel, another birth for June. You would be so proud of him. He carries you in every part of his body. Handsome unlike no other, beautiful beyond compare. You would eat him up in kisses and hugs. Oh, how I miss you. 
June also brought another death for me this year. A death I was strangely unaware of, but with others wisdom, I guess I should have known. It was not a fact I was choosing to ignore I do not think. I simply think I was unaware.
I had no idea and the death comes with pain and mourning and grief in many forms. It comes with sadness and tears and ways to try and find closure in so many different areas.
I have to find answers for Bella, when I have no more answers.
She is so confused and I have to tell her the truth now.
Death comes in many forms, some not absolute, but absolute none the less.

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